This is What Happens When You Bring a Robotic Chinese Babe-Maid into a White Household

This is What Happens When You Bring a Robotic Chinese Babe-Maid into a White Household

(Spoiler alert! This post includes details from the entire first season of the new British-American science fiction TV show Humans, which debuted on June 14, 2015 on Channel 4 and AMC.)

What happens when you bring in a hot Chinese babe-maid into a white household? The new TV show Humans explores the various possibilities.

Humans, Channel 4’s most highly rated drama since 1992, explores the emotional and societal impact of living side-by-side with “Synths” – robotic assistants/helpers that are almost physically undisguisable from real human beings.

And now, for the plot line: Laura is a lawyer, a mother of three and the wife of Joe Hawkins, and is frequently away on business trips.  Joe Hawkins is overwhelmed with juggling the kids, his job, and household work, and decides to buy a Synth who looks like a young Chinese woman. They name her Anita, after Sophie’s (Joe’s youngest daughter’s) friend who had moved away.

Overnight, Anita cleans the house from top to bottom, and by the time the family wakes up the next morning she has prepared for them a monster gourmet breakfast.

Laura feels like she’s been replaced; Joe loves having Anita around, the tasty meals, and all the extra time she frees up; Mattie, the older daughter and computer hacker has always been anti-synth, and believes that Anita will break apart their already-fragile family; Sophie, the youngest daughter,  loves the constant attention the Synth gives her and immediately believes Anita is her best friend; and finally there’s Toby, their teenage son, who develops a major crush on the sexy Anita with her “fit” (the British word for “hot”) supermodel-like appearance.

Anita suffers some external damage in a car collision and advises Joe that, “For insurance purposes, you should carry out a full inspection of my epidermis” and that “For legal reasons, a Synthetic appliance cannot self-examine.”

1 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans 2 - Chinese actress Gemma Chan - Humans

Joe, exchanging knowing looks with his teenage son, takes Anita out to garage where he can inspect the entirety of her, *cough*, epidermis in private.

Joe: Where do we start?

Anita: My clothes must be removed.

Joe: Yeah. I was afraid you, were going to say that.

3 - Chinese actress Gemma Chan - Humans 4 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans5 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans 6 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans

Anita strips down and reveals her beautiful bod, which, aside from a couple scratches, is flawless. Joe dutifully concludes the inspection, kneels down, and carefully checks out her synthetic snatch. He is totally mesmerized by the beautiful sight and tries to convince himself: “It’s not real, it’s not real!”

7 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans

Meanwhile, Tobey, affectionately nicknamed “Crusty Sheets” by his older sister, is looking through a fogged up garage window, trying to sneak a few peeks of the naked Anita.

8 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans

Later on in the series, Joe, thinking that his wife is cheating on him, relieves his pain by getting into the juice.

After a few glasses (and after already seeing her naked), the already-blurred line between human and machine, goes completely fuzzy for Joe when he stumbles across Anita’s 18+ “Adult Mode” card.

9 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans10 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans

Joe: Do you want to try it? Just out of curiosity – I mean, we won’t do anything, obviously.

Similar to a lottery ticket, Joe tears open the card, scratches away a silver strip, and reveals the secret “code” which unlocks Anita’s sexy side.

Joe has definitely hit the lottery! He gives Anita a royal ravaging.  After finishing up Joe feels guilty and says, “Anita, turn off Adult Mode.  Delete this from you records and don’t mention this to anyone…do you need to, um, to clean up or something?”

“Yes, may I use the bathroom?” replies Anita.

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(Joe’s expression while having sex with Anita.)

12 - Chinese Actress Gemma Chan - Humans

(Anita’s expression while having sex with Joe.)

The family later discovers Anita’s Adult Mode was accessed, complete with time and date.  Toby is the most likely culprit, and Laura immediately asks him if he did the deed. Tobey, despite his crush on Anita, and not wanting the relationship between his father and mother to deteriorate further, takes the rap for his father. Laura later finds out that it was her husband who had sex with Anita and demands that he pack up his things and leave immediately.

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The story above somewhat resembles what can happen when a white guy and his family move to China. I’ve heard it many times from married men who, after being offered a job in China, move their white family to a city like Shanghai or Beijing. An (innocent?) Chinese girl, while not a robot, then comes between the husband and the wife and family. The result is disastrous. Oftentimes, the wife takes her kids and moves back to their home country – never to see the husband again. Meanwhile the husband and his new Chinese girlfriend pair up and try to see if their relationship will last in a place like China, where temptation is everywhere and white men are spoiled with attention.

Just one of many stories of the Chinese Dragon chewing you up and spitting you back out!!

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