With different laws, regulations, histories, geographies, traditions, and wildlife, it is no wonder why South East Asian countries have industries that, on the surface, seem completely foreign to us. Here’s a list of the top 10 weird and naughty industries and markets that only exist in South East Asia.
10. Mail-Order Custom-Made Drugs Industry (CHINA)
You can order drugs directly from China.Scenario: Your hippie love party in the desert is going on next month but you are all out of MDMA. What do you do? Call up Shanghai – give them your MDMA-ish recipe and they will ship it to your door or PO Box (safer) by the kilo. True story.
Creating and banning recreational drugs is a constant game of cat and mouse between chemists and authorities. Illicit drugs are banned based on their chemical composition. However, if you were to tweak a few chemical bonds in MDMA, or any drug for that matter, you would get a new “legal” drug that can be easily manufactured and ordered from China.
All it takes is few dozen phone calls to Shanghai, a gmail account, a bank transfer, a PO Box (set up in a false name), a few emails to contacts on web forums that will supply you with both the synthesis and the name of a friendly laboratory. With bit of reading the job is done.
9. 500,000+USD Salary Male Hosts / Male Gigolo Industry (JAPAN)
(Be sure to click “CC” on the player in the above video to display the English subtitles).
Money. Time. Women. They’ve got it all! Male hosts in Japan entertain women in hosts clubs – they hang out, drink, dance, and play games with well-moneyed females, acting as a social non-sexual companion for the night.
The explanation for this phenomenon? Due to long working hours and a large number of hardcore male gamers, Japan has produced an army of socially awkward little dudes who are unable to please their female counterparts either socially or otherwise. Successful females seeking quality male accompaniment patronize these host clubs to satisfy their basic human desires, to communicate and connect with the opposite sex.
You would think getting paid $30,000 USD/month just to drink and hang out with rich chicks sounds like a pretty badass job. But being a gigolo isn’t always easy. Every year they compete for top male host in Japan in a contest called All Japan Host Grand Prix in which contestants are judged on things like memory and conversational technique, ultimately looking for the one with the top vibe, aura, or presence. The winner is awarded a wrestler-sized Grand Prix belt and the rankings for all other male hosts are subsequently published in some escort-like magazine that circulates throughout Japan. Top host usually means top salary and also means a better shot at appearing on TV or music videos. With so much on the line, competition is fierce.
More Japanese male hosts videos below…
Boyfriends For Hire in Japan (VICE):
Joel, the host of this episode, is pretty dorky and does not really have the personality required to properly play the role of a male host. The episode is still very entertaining, but if you want to see a VICE correspondent who really nails it, you got to watch the clip below called…
The Japanese Love Industry (VICE):
A Night with Japan’s High Paid Male Gigolo – $200,000 in one night! This last video is different from the above, as it dives more into the dark side of this profession and how, in some cases, can result in a triangle of human trafficking.
8. Kitty Petting Industry – Cat Cafes (JAPAN)
Japanese landlords are very bad people – they don’t allow small cuddly pets in their tiny flats. The solution? Cat Cafes.
Lonely pet-less patrons pay $11/hour to pat pussies, sip coffee, snack on pastries, and talk to other like-minded pussy-strokers. At the same time, you get to watch a variety of felines clean themselves, laze around, slurp cat food, shed clumps of hair, and lick that toe that you forgot to wash that day.
Sounds pretty laid back, but there are rules (in favor of the cat).
- No shoes
- No shouting
- Sleeping cats should not be disturbed
- No smoking
- Tail-pulling and other misbehaviors are not allowed
The most popular cat at the cat café Cat Time in Osaka, Japan is a one-eyed Tom named Blackjack, who behaves much like a placid ragdoll. I’m assuming it’s because he’s one of the few cats that will tolerate high degrees of torment without scratching your face off.
These cat cafes are spreading like flees and are becoming popular in neighboring Taiwan, South Korea, and China. I think we’ve found the culprits responsible for turning a large portion of the internet into a giant cat-slideshow.
7. Cave Dwelling Industry (CHINA)
Some 35 million Chinese still live in caves. In his book Riding the Iron Rooster: By Train Through China, Paul Theroux writes,”There is no government program to remove these troglodytes, but there is a scheme to give them better caves. It seemed to me a kind of lateral thinking. Why rehouse or resettle these cave-dwellers? The logical solution was to improve their caves. That was very Chinese.”
China has had a large cave community in Shanxi province for thousands of years. It was in these caves where Chairman Mao and his followers regrouped after the long march
The quality of caves range from a basic dirt floored single chamber to multi-chambered caves, secured with brick masonry; others even have electricity and running water. They are cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
Most of them are not fancy, but some are really beautiful: spacious with high ceilings and a nice yard out front where you can exercise and sit in the sun.
While A basic one-bedroom cave without plumbing rents for about $30 USD a month, caves with three bedrooms and a bathroom could sell for as much as $46,000.
Many Chinese in these regions prefer to live in their inexpensive upscale caves rather than a posh 1000-6000USD/month apartment in the city.
6. Panda porn Industry (CHINA)
From 1982 to 2012, the number of pandas successfully reintroduced into the wild was exactly zero. Eight attempts totally failed with six pandas being returned to captivity due to malnutrition – one died, and the last one went missing and was presumed dead.
The whole process of reintroduction is further complicated by the fact that, historically, pandas are notorious for their inability to reproduce. Giant female pandas go into heat only once each year for a couple of weeks but are only fertile for approximately 24 hours – not exactly a large window of opportunity for their male counterparts. It’s not surprising that new reintroduction programs are now using modern science and technology to help our furry little friends bang each other.
Out of all the techniques used – hind leg strengthening, and Viagra, to name a couple – panda porn was the clear winner. The videos showed basic (non-HD) video of captive pandas mating. While Scientists concluded that, while the pandas were not sexually stimulated by the porn, they did benefit from the visual presentation of pandas copulating. It was a learning process and the program was a huge success.
5. The White Face Industry (Many SE Asian Countries)
Surprisingly the one basic requirement to teaching English in China is the color of your skin. You have to be white. Seriously. No degree? No certification? No working visa? No problem. Sometimes there’s not even an interview and some schools do not even know which country the white teacher hails from. They just know that he’s (or she’s) white.
Even if you are Asian, born and raised in the States, and have prestigious teaching credentials and certificates, you’re not going to be successful. You have to be white. White faces attract customers and it’s become an integral part of establishing a kind of legitimacy.
This niche in the marketplace in China is growing at almost 15 percent per year. The country currently has over 180,000 of these “foreign experts.” Chinese parents firmly believe that by having a foreigner teaching their child conversational English, their son or daughter will be more successful while studying abroad. This is reflected in the following statistics: over 235,000 Chinese students enrolled in American colleges in 2012, and it is by far the largest of all foreign student groups.
4. Open-Crotch Pants Industry (CHINA)
No money for diapers? Here’s what you do: grab a knife and slit a hole in your baby’s pants – instant crotchless pants. Now your child can poop/pee through that little gap and you’re golden.
If you do not want to go the do-it-yourself (DUI) route just head on down to the mall and buy these split-pants straight off the rack.
With average monthly salaries around 139-500 USD and diapers selling at around 20 cents each, Chinese believe that, not only are the split pants more affordable, but babies find them more comfortable too, especially on hot days.
I could not find a “real” video of a baby peeing through his/her split pants, but this video makes for an entertaining substitute.
3. Three-Penis Liquor Industry (CHINA)
No joke. As seen on popular the American sitcom The League, three-penis wine (Chinese: Sanbian Jiu) is made from the phallus of a dog, deer, and seal. According to traditional Chinese medicine, it is supposed to increase a male’s virility and sexual performance.
Three-penis wine was originally spotted on supermarket shelves in Shanghai and can also be found in a Chinatown near you.
“Ok, guys, take a sip and feel 3 penises inside of you.” – Taco (The League)
2. Sex Education Materials FOR ADULTS Industry (CHINA)
In November of 2013, China’s “Nutcracker Studio” produced three one-minute sex education clips, such as “Where Do Babies Come From?”, “Why Are Boys Different from Girls?”, and (the creepy) “How Minors Can Prevent Molestation.” The videos instantly went viral, receiving millions of views across the Chinese social web.
Instead of telling their children that they were picked out of a garbage dump, Chinese parents are now equipped with suitable materials to teach their children where they came from.
Even young adults found these videos helpful because sex education is China is basically non-existent. Chinese schools lagged “at least 60 years behind” Sweden and other developed countries. This is further emphasized by the numbers: only 10 of China’s 180.000 primary schools, and 500-600 of China’s approximately 500,000 secondary schools included sex education in their curriculums.
1. “Liberation Wrapper” for Small Mouths Industry (JAPAN)
National Japanese hamburger chain “Freshness Burger” faced a challenge: their best and largest burger was rarely ordered by female Japanese patrons. Why? Having “ochobo” or a small and modest mouth is regarded as attractive. The Showing of a large and open mouths in pubic is considered both “ugly and rude” in their culture – that is why you often see Japanese girls covering their mouths while laughing. Opening wide to crunch down on luscious burger is no different. The solution? “Fresh Burger” introduced the “Liberation Wrapper” that Japanese women could use to completely conceal their mouth while consuming that burger.